24 June 2013

Finding Joy in Periods Of Uncertainty

On  June the 12th, Jamie had her 4-monthly MRI. This was exactly one year since she had her first major surgery to remove her tumour. It was such an emotional week recalling that really stressful week. Despite all that stress last year, i was REALLY hopeful- maybe it's a benign tumour, maybe she won't need chemotherapy, maybe it is a low-risk neuroblastoma etc etc etc.

Since then we have periods of relative peace and quiet. Yet every single time, it seems, i started hoping, dreaming, planning ahead again, we received bad news. Every single time. And then after some time, we settle into our usual routine again- i start dreaming of a childhood free of hospitals, doctors, procedures for my children.

This time it was no different- i had been hoping, praying, dreaming that we had beaten this cancer but it seems as if it could be back. It is not all bad news- all her tumour markers are normal, she has zero symptoms, she is healthy, thriving, growing. So i'll keep on being hopeful and i'll look for joy everyday.

{June 11, 2012}

{June 12, 2012}


  1. Such strength in your heart. It seems like you would feel like you're walking on thin ice every day. But your little girl keeps you treading lightly. You give her so much to look up to. Love the photos and look forward to reading all about her and Gemma's toddlerhood.

  2. Thank you Beth. It is difficult to have a heavy heart when i'm surrounded by my girls' giggling and their little toddler games! i love this age!